I’ve been off dating apps for a year now and it’s crazy how fast the scarcity mindset disappears. I feel no obligation to go on dates w women I’m not even sure I like out of desperation. Men look at me like I’m crazy when i tell them they don’t have to live like this
It’s funny bc I’m more used to guys reacting to scarcity mindset with, “so I might as well not try” resignation. It’d be interesting to read more about your experience before/after.
Toby (not?) I’ve been following your writing for a bit but finally read this in full and it’s so beautifully thoughtful, smart and unsentimentally vulnerable.
Thank you for writing this. I can relate to some of your feelings of insecurity and not feeling like I’ll eventually be good enough. I do still go down the other route of doing the online dating thing, but I get why the path you had taken makes rational sense too.
I’ve been off dating apps for a year now and it’s crazy how fast the scarcity mindset disappears. I feel no obligation to go on dates w women I’m not even sure I like out of desperation. Men look at me like I’m crazy when i tell them they don’t have to live like this
It’s funny bc I’m more used to guys reacting to scarcity mindset with, “so I might as well not try” resignation. It’d be interesting to read more about your experience before/after.
Thanks for the essay. I can really relate to the fear of disappointing people. It's a hard mindset to get out of.
Lol I can't exactly say I'm glad it resonated, but I appreciate the comment. I think a lot of people deal with it!
Toby (not?) I’ve been following your writing for a bit but finally read this in full and it’s so beautifully thoughtful, smart and unsentimentally vulnerable.
Thank you for writing this. I can relate to some of your feelings of insecurity and not feeling like I’ll eventually be good enough. I do still go down the other route of doing the online dating thing, but I get why the path you had taken makes rational sense too.
This is a very kind & flattering comment to receive, thank you.
The path is a work in progress lol!
beautifully lucid and honest writing!
🙏 thank you! what a nice comment to wake up to 😅
Dang some of this is on point for my experience as well
I’m sorry it resonated :p
Life is tricky. It’s nice to see how someone else thinks about similar circumstances